A new season

Last week marked when I could start riding and lifting over 20 pounds again! Sadly the riding hasn’t happened yet, but I’ve briefly picked up a few things in the aforementioned weight category. What muscle tone I did have before my surgery is long gone though, so I’m erring on the overcautious side and am going to make a short-term weights/strength plan that gradually increases so I don’t wreck anything.

Another reason for no riding yet is that I was trying to make sure I got through one of my best friends wedding, which was this past Saturday, and all the set-up/rehearsal activities (and work…) the day before.

And it was absolutely, positively perfect. Not in the “not a thing was out of place” or “the photographer was right on time not an hour late because she was taking pictures of the empty church and efficient and didn’t step on the bride’s dress and leave a grass stain” way. But in the way of being together for nine years already, literally growing up together and then surviving the challenge of growing separately at two different universities. I haven’t laughed so hard or so much in a really long time, and I think the rest of the bridesmaids, groomsmen and immediate family would agree. I even got a good 20 minute nap in before the reception, because lovely bride made sure the house we got ready in would be available for both me and her older sister who’s still breastfeeding. Pretty sure that was my key to success for the evening!

The challenge going forward (especially after my last outpatient surgery next Friday) is staying consistent in putting my body first, and being aware of when I get resentful or impatient for doing so.

Something that’s helping with the motivation factor is my participation in Project Sleep‘s Rising Voices in Narcolepsy program. Last week the assignment was pretty much brain dumping our life experiences before, during, and after our diagnosis. It didn’t have to be polished, but enough to work with. While I didn’t expect it to be easy, I was surprised at the unpleasant emotions and memories I found myself digging around in. Both in the time leading up to figuring out what was wrong and after as I struggled with finding the right medications and insurance difficulties. Not to mention the roller coaster of the past almost year with a congenital kidney problem that was definitely not relevant…

Distilling all of that down to a coherent story this week is proving challenging again (WHY IS THERE SO MUCH), but I’m also finding other people involved in sleep advocacy through social media – and it’s been really encouraging. For whatever reason, I’ve never thought to explore this particular avenue before now, but it’s been inspiring to see examples and feel like maybe I could start sharing this piece of myself to more family and friends. It also makes me think that what I write on here could be a part of what I start sharing with them – something I would never have considered a year ago, or even six months ago. I’m undecided as of now, and I’m ok with that. This space is still for me (even if I basically just write at the beginning and end of every month it seems), and I like that I’m both not feeling stressed to make sweeping changes and am still looking for the ways in which this can help me grow.