Fate whispers to the warrior “You cannot withstand this storm.”
And the warrior whispers back, “I am the storm.” – not sure of source
I really like how L over at Viva Carlos has a quote at the beginning of all her posts. If I had enough pearls of wisdom on hand, I would totally do it. Though given my writing frequency, maybe I would have enough…
When we (I) last left off, I said I didn’t know how much I might write in 2018. I had an inspiring fortune that coincided with how I want to see myself this year (thankfully I’m a big sister, so that part was already taken care of).
And then I start a draft about 2018 in which I decide, very cleverly, instead of resolutions, I’m aiming for a mindset this year. I’m not going to beat myself up about that – I think it’s actually a good idea, and if I’m serious about it, then how convenient that it’s already being tested amIright?
I am right. Annoyingly so, because this week I found myself thinking…
“what’s the point?”
“am I ever going to catch a break?”
“I finally get my narcolepsy under control… and now this???”
There was a short procedure last Wednesday – my first time having anesthesia since I was 10. That being pre-narcolepsy, I was concerned because there’s a small body of research indicating PWN (persons with narcolepsy) can have more adverse reactions to general anesthetic (taking longer to wake-up mainly).
Thankfully, when using shorter-acting anesthetics (as in my procedure) and when the caregivers are aware of the situation, this risk pretty much goes away. Other than having cataplexy upon waking up, I had no issues. Everything taken care of.
So, what was this procedure? Putting a little stent up in my right kidney, which was giving me irregular bouts of intense pain starting back in September. There were no stones, masses, or issues seen on scans beyond my kidney being a bit bigger than normal. Thus, the procedure to figure out what may be causing it and get the excess liquid moving.
While I was still slogging through my molasses mind, the urologist briefly told me (I think) that I have crossing vessels and that we’d need to set a follow up. As it turns out, I hit the genetic jackpot and a little artery is making life very difficult for my poor kidney. Said follow-up is about a week away, but what my mom remembers him telling her is that basically my options are to continue having these stents replaced every four months or so, orrr I have a pyeloplasty (fancy or more-denial friendly way of saying they reconstruct my renal pelvis). I’ve been avoiding reading up on it, but the estimate my mom remembers is inpatient for 5-7 days and then 4-6 weeks off work after that.
Where’s option C where the problem is fixed and I need zero more surgeries? I’ve got one of my best friends weddings this summer, there’s a puppy that’s going to be ready to come home with me in less than a month. I’m supposed to be giving my first presentation on sleep in two; I’m trying to move out this week. I wanted to try and lease one of my trainer’s horses this spring and show more this summer/fall. And be on the lookout for whatever adventures come from that.
I don’t think it’s so far out of left field to be bummed about this and feeling a bit panicky. I’ve got people telling me “why not get it done as soon as possible? You don’t want to spend your summer recovering!” And others saying to wait until summer. Unfortunately, my work couldn’t handle me being gone that long without needed to hire someone else. Working for a small business has plenty of perks, but having extra bodies for when one person’s out is not one of them.
All I can do right now is read up more on ureteropelvic junction obstructions (UPJ/UPJO) caused by crossing vessels, shift and tell my bladder that the doctor said this was normal when it yells every 5 minutes that HEY WE NEED TO GO TO THE LADIES ROOM – and gather small things around to move out. Except, depending on how the appointment next week goes, not entirely sure how long that might last…