Convincing yourself to write

Here it is, the big first post.

It’s like Christmas; banner picture chosen with care, my layout, well, laid out, a rough ‘about’ page at least present, and promises that soon troves of new followers will soon be here, right.

Christmas in July! Complete with cookies I actually baked three years ago.
Christmas in July! Complete with cookies I actually baked three years ago.

False. There will be approximately 3 views besides my over-analyzing self dozenth-checking for errors. For a long time, maybe forever. This blog may remain a little tumbleweed in the grand scheme of WordPress, collecting internet dust and never growing beyond the views of my mother and I. That is, if I inform her of this endeavor. I’ve already given her access to my facebook in an act of reverse psychology to 1) keep her up on family things and 2) prevent her from having a voice on the internet, because she is loud enough in real life.

There are also some legitimate reasons why I shouldn’t be a blogger.

1. As of now, I am not needed by the internet.

I’m not filling any sort of void. I am unsure, unproven and, odds are, blogs like mine are a dime a dozen (free actually – I’m too cheap to stock any money in this thing).

2. Hey ya know, I may not be God’s gift to blogging man.

I may not be that great of a writer. I tend to go off-topic, ramble, drone for days and elaborate on a story until my listener’s eye twitches some morse code for get.to.the.damn.point. I might completely forget my grammatical education and make any teacher who stumbles here weep tears of semi-colons and adverbs. I sometimes take on a tone that is a little *too* conversational. I love me some satire, but I might not communicate it effectively. Case in point: My mom’s boyfriend (basically step-dad, BSD) was trying to buy me some earrings while on vacation recently. He’s texting me, and says “pirates or sharks or !!! shells arr !!” and puts a little laughing emoji after. I neither wanted sharks or pirates in my ears, but I went along with his “joke” and replied “ah yes. shark earrings please. preferably with the shark holding a limb in its mouth.”

This is inappropriate considering BSD is at a well-known beach that’s recently had a couple shark attacks. I knew this, and thought my sarcasm was obvious. Oh contrare, as I later learned BSD actually went into several craft shops on the boardwalk earnestly asking for shark earrings with limbs in the mouths and got at least one jaw-drop until a merciful soul told him that might not be a good request at this time.

See, distracted rambling.

I’ve had a few kind people compliment my writing (ode to you in the future), but not so much since high school. I forgot how much stock I took in that until I discovered some of my old papers in my hoardroom bedroom.

3. Along those lines, I could run out of shit to say, or not know who I’m writing to.

If I’m hammering the same stories and issues time and again, I will suck. And be uninteresting. Good news is, if I do want this to be an “equestrian niche” blog (as all the how-to’s say it’s imperative to know your niche), I’ve got a pretty predictable audience. Odds are, if you ever end up reading this, you’re a white female between the ages of 18 & 58, with a horse, and possibly a blog of your own. Or you’re my mom/family. I say this not to offend, but as an observation and probable (though not researched by me) fact. If you don’t fit into one of the two categories above, that’s awesome! Speak to me! I’m all about diversifying the horse community, even though I fall into the above category myself. Which leads to point four…

4. I’m a whole bunch of stereotypes, so what could I possibly uniquely contribute?

Ah, the middle class 20-something white girl finding her way through the pricey portal of higher education. What better way to express myself and my views than through a blog?!? It’s not like there aren’t already 72835712037593571239 blogs like this already. Besides that, I’m in a ~*sororiTAY*~. Greek life in general gets flak – whether we’re binging on a Tuesday (and Wednesday, and Thursday…), offending every marginalized group known to man through party “attire,” or making and breaking crucial relationships within the feudal Tier System, I can see why there’s some negative connotations. Another post for another day: I actually enjoy my sorority a lot and truly believe I’ve gotten my “money’s worth.” Anyways. Yes, I’m pretty much in the majority of who makes up instagram’s followers, and we all know how quickly that gets old when your eyes blur as you’re scrolling through your feed/stalking/just wasting time. Therefore, my ramblings will be the equivalent of another filtered pumpkin spice latte come September 8th.

5.  No hoof, no horse.

This is true. I’ve neither hooves nor horse. “But… this is going to be a horse blog?”

Yep. Moving along.

6. DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE.

Classic comeback to criticism. Should there be any semblance of activity in the cobwebbed comments section, it could be the good, the bad, and the ugly. Honestly, I’m not sure how I’d respond to the bad and ugly. I’m cool with criticism from people I know and trust, but random trolls are always a-trollin’, even in the most unlikely of places, and it’s entirely possible one will come along and shit on my parade and my feathers will fluster and I will delete everything… Maybe that’s a little extreme.

7. Lastly, I’m consistently inconsistent in my writing.

About once a year since… oh, 2010 I’ll go through a phase where I get motivated and excited about trying this blog thing. I actually had a blog over on blogspot where I *gasped* posted things. Then I unposted them and there they sat, unpublished and unseen to everyone but me. Brag moment – I got two followers during that month and a half or so time where I DID publish the posts. This signals that I’m not going to follow through with this, and that even if I go way past my previous records, history says this will last 5 months tops. Such promise!

So. Those are some expounded upon reasons I should not blog.

And yet here I am! Some of the reasons to not start a blog are totally legitimate, like trying a horse blog without any consistent horse characters. I also know I’m no special snowflake (at least the combination of me and my writing isn’t right now), and yea, I pretty much suck at consistency.

But, I’m doing it anyways! Honestly, what have I got to lose? This thing is free, and such sweet music that is to my college ears. I like challenging myself (in realistic ways), and this is some much needed writing practice if nothing else. Also, I think the reasons I should blog outweigh the reasons I shouldn’t (despite the title of this post). Horses have been a leading part or at least background for my life experiences of the past 15 years, and I’ve got to see and do a lot of things – good and bad. When I’m older, sassier, and wrinkly-er, written evidence of these years will make for great reading on the porch I will most definitely have. I might even meet some people, because the horse blogging circle is pretty small, and I may or may not already follow some of them. I know I’ll learn something along the way, which is exciting and motivating, because I’ll in some way be more prepared the next time an opportunity to own a horse rolls my way ;) I might even turn out to really enjoy this and make something more out of it, which is possible; how many people already have? I’m also at a point in my life where the near future is a blank slate, which is exhilarating and nerve-wracking simultaneously. There are possibilities everywhere, and I like possibilities. Time to enjoy the ride.

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